I just returned from our latest school meeting, this time an "annual review" to determine services for the year for our son. I'm thankful for the outcome, but feel like I need an emotional vacation from the process leading up to this meeting.
Advocating for your child is a skill - something I have improved at over time. Like many things in raising kids, there is no class on "How to advocate for your child when they are misunderstood at school". I am developing my own personal "style" of working to get what we feel is in our childs best interest. Its been an awkward process, and I have ranged from the "hystericalravinglunaticmom" to the "quiet acceptance sit-back-and-say-nothing mom". As with all things of motherhood, I am finding a groove and settling into the realities of what our son needs.
I have definatly taken this role as advocate for our son seriously, plunging myself into research, and asking questions of a slowly growing network of friends and parents who act as my personal "expert panel" on all things regarding schools, books, strategies, medical doctors, specialists, social services, county resources and legal rights.
I certainly wasn't prepared for this when I became a mom. Ive never been a good negotiator or salesperson. Yet I have been slowly building my "advocate muscles" one bicept at a time. What am I becomning? A warrior for my son? certainly not. I think I am basically becoming more of a well rounded person, learning to grow in areas I never thought I would or wanted to. Sitting at a table with 12 other adults, all professionals in the education field, telling you what should be done for your child is a daunting experience. Challenging their suggestions and suggesting alternatives that you KNOW will work for your child is even more daunting. Then , throw in trying to do it all with wisdom, grace, confidence, sensitivty, appreciation for what they ARE doing, and the right wording is just about overwhelming. But all through this process I have felt such a sense of peace in knowing my DH and I have conducted our selves calmly, respectfully and carefully.
Because its true that sugar goes down better than sludge and we have been avoiding the sludge! As Christians, we want to honor God in all we do and say and are trusting HIM as the ultimate advocate for our son. What good is it to gain the whole world and lose your soul? or, in our case, gain the right services but act like complete jerks and in doing so, offend many people, and essentially act against the very principles we claim to live by! What kind of character is that?
Ive heard alot of advice.... sayings like "well, the squeeky wheel gets the oil" and " those who yell the loudest get heard first" but what in the end does it really accomplish?
Job 16:19 says "Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high"
John 14:16 says, "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you."
1 John 2:1 says, "But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous."
Ultimatly we trust that our son has a future and the answer is not in the school system. Yes, it is my responsibility as a parent to ask for things he needs, remain engaged in my childs education, and even at times demand better, but I pray we can continue to have Gods favor while maintaining the character we hope to live and model for our kids.
And maybe I should pursue a second career? Sarah... PCA (Professional Child Advocate).
Just more intials to add after ECS (Environmental Control Specialist)...EDE (Expert Domestic Engineer)..... PSR (Professional Sibling Referee).....and of course, AIW (Architect-in-Waiting!)
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